Beauty On A Train
It was late one night as I was coming home on the train. I had just gotten
off of the evening shift and was heading home. Since I was really tired it had
really annoyed me when I had to run to catch the train. I'd had a really bad
day. For two days I'd been nursing a bad cold and fever while at the same time
going back and forth between work and some projects I'd been working on at home.
In all honesty I had stretched myself too thin as I am wont to do. For weeks I
had been on a decline as far as energy went and I had been getting pretty
depressed working at a job that I simply was not suited for.
As I sat there on the train, all I could do was think. Some kids were making
some noise at the other end of the car but I didn't pay it much notice. Every
now and then, my eyes would close for a moment or two and I would quickly wake
myself up so I wouldn't miss my stop. I'd been out of college for about four
months and I still couldn't find a decent job. Getting my degree, I thought I
would be able to get a really nice job and pay off all my loans. Unfortunately,
about two months before I graduated my industry of choice had fallen apart and
suddenly there was very little work. Any of the good jobs went to people who had
years of experience.
Looking around the train car was the only way to keep myself awake. There were
always ads up on the wall so I'd scan them occasionally and pretend to be
reading them. Every now and then I'd think about taking my book out my bag and
reading it but I knew if I tried to my eyes would get too sore and I might be
forced to close my eyes again. Every couple of minutes I had to take out my
Kleenex and wipe my nose. Over the past couple of days, I had blown my nose so
much the skin around my nose was starting to crack and bleed. I felt like trash.
I probably looked like it too.
Just as I was about to fall asleep the train came to its next stop and in walked
an incredibly beautiful girl. She couldn't have been more than 20 and she had
curly shoulder-length black hair. She had an absolutely gorgeous roundish type
of face with a little button nose and long eyelashes that made me almost gasp.
She was pale as you would expect a redhead to be and she exuded an aura that I
can only describe as innocence. I'll admit I have a tendency to put women on a
pedestal but I don't think I had ever seen a girl that beautiful before.
As she walked past me, our eyes met for a split second before I realized I was
staring at her. I looked away quickly because I didn't want her to think I was
some kind of weirdo. She sat across from me but a little bit off to my left. We
were the only two people on that end of the car. She started to read a book and
every now and then, I couldn't help but look over at her. I really don't think
she saw me looking at her once in a while. Every time she finished a page, her
head would tilt to the opposite position and she'd get a thoughtful look in her
eyes. It was clear to me that she was very engrossed in her book. It almost
seemed like she wasn't even there; like she was in whatever world she was
reading about. She was beautiful.
The whole time I sat there I almost forgot I was sick. Every now and then, I had
to wipe my teary right eye but other than that, all I could think about was what
she must be like. Exhausted, and still almost falling asleep, I imagined she
must have a dog and a little brother and that she wrote poetry when she was
alone. Every time I looked at her, it became more difficult to look away. One
time she brushed her black hair out of her face and I practically fell in love
with her for it.
After a while, I started to think about talking to her. What could it hurt? She
might think I was a creep for one thing. Me, the runny-nosed, teary-eyed punk
who looked like he hadn't slept in a week. Then I thought to myself that she
seemed too nice to think that way. I contemplated how I would start a
conversation with her. Should I take interest in the book she was reading? Maybe
I should feign ignorance about the train system and ask her for directions. I
was so tired but my thoughts were running at a rapid pace knowing that she was
only a few feet away from me. For a moment, I had to close my eyes to stop from
staring at her. I kept getting afraid that she would catch me staring at her.
Soon I realized that my stop wasn't that far off and I got anxious. Worried that
I would have to get off before I spoke to her I blurted out, "What's that you're
reading?" She looked up at me, realized that I was talking to her, and smiled.
It was one of those pleasant little smiles. She didn't show any teeth or
anything, her mouth was closed, but I could tell she was pleased that I had
asked. "Great Expectations." And with that, I smiled and said, "Good book." It
really is by the way. She smiled again and continued to read. When she had
spoken, I could've sworn that something clicked in my head as if I had heard
that voice before, or maybe had wanted to have heard it before. Her voice was
soft. I would even describe it as almost airy. I imagined that she was a very
good singer and wondered what it would be like to have her sing to me.
For a little while, I contemplated talking to her again but, while I wanted to
hear that wonderful voice again, I couldn't bring myself to take her away from
the book that she seemed to adore so much. Having read it before myself, I
wondered what part she was reading and tried to figure it out by how far along
she seemed to be. Soon I noticed that mine was the next stop and I started to
become terrified; afraid that I might never see or speak to this girl again. I
thought maybe I should tell her how stunned I was by how beautiful she was. I
figured it couldn't hurt. When the train was nearing my stop, I stood up and
walked to the doors that were right next to her.
I looked at her and said, "Excuse me." She looked up and smiled again. I almost
couldn't breathe. "I'm about to get off but before I do…", I had to pause and
catch my breath. She was staring right at me now. I continued, "I just have to
tell you that you are one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life
and I know guys probably tell you that all the time but I really felt it was
important for me to say." Nothing. Her mouth opened just a little and she had an
absolutely shocked look on her face. For a moment, I thought she might slap me
or something. But then, just when I started to feel really embarrassed, the
shock turned into the slightest smile. "This is my stop too.", I heard that
beautiful voice say. And she stood up. She came and stood next to me, still
smiling. The top of her head reached up to about my nose and I thought that if I
wasn't sick that her hair would smell great. All I could do was stare into her
eyes and smile like a fool but I didn't care. We got off the train together and
she took my hand. She told me her name and I told her mine. She told me that she
hadn't even been reading her book that whole time. She'd been turning the pages,
pretending to read it, while every time I closed my eyes she would look over at
me. She said that I looked like a nice person to her and then she asked me to
walk her home. Of course I said yes and on our walk we talked and exchanged
phone numbers. She told me that if I didn't call her that she would call me. I
walked her to her door and she kissed me on the cheek, telling me that she would
talk to me tomorrow.
When I got home I had several messages on my answering machine and the last was
from her. Her message said that she was really happy to have met me and that she
hoped we could meet again sometime soon and that, in any case, she would call me
the next day. She did call, and we did meet again. I've loved her since that
night.